12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
