I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
