i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
