K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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