How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I want to have your abortion
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
