weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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