honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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