who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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