2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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