I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
