i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
