The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently you make a good broom.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
