It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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