Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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