She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
