dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
