so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
