i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
