I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
