3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I bet he comes in French.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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