he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
