Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
wow bdsm is so cute
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
