He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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