please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
