I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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