she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
