you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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