The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
