We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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