oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
