He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we're making bets on your personal life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
