he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
