Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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