Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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