Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Randomize
