I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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