This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
