So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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