This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
