the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
