kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
