She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
