I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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