My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize