I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
how drunk are you?
Several
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
