Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
