I think my vagina is haunted
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
