Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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