i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Randomize
