so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
