Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
