How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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