I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
