so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just found puke in my bra..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
