where am i from again
i just made my gag reflex go away.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
