Heybabeimwearingurpanties
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
