I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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