so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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