can u get pink eye on your cock?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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