Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
