He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
