Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
