I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize