Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
