i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
